Like
a kid with a charge account in a candy store, we hardly know where to begin
this week: but for a start, we have a nice surprise package –a spurious
“Nudist Newsletter” no less, which we should welcome into our midst. (At least
temporarily, as it is more in the nature of a comic interlude.)
First on the agenda in this new humor magazine (put out by Sun Era), is an article a la “The Perils of Pauline,” Chapter Xnth , which we could subtitle: “Adventures of ‘T’ Latimer.” At latest report, the redoubtable ‘T’, while in the process of pulling up stakes at Sun Island, rooting himself in the soil of The Swallows, and carrying on a running, TV-Western shoot-em-out with LA’s CDL (Citizens For Decent Literature); has still found time to woo and win the hand –or at least the pocketbook –of Mr. Milton Luros, nee Parliament News. (Hereafter known affectionately as “Uncle Milt” –bon vivant, non pareil financier, humanitarian of the Highest Order, nudist philosopher par excellence, all-around Good Guy and Top Hand to Boot.)
The aforementioned “newsletter” quotes Mr. Luros in typical, modest understatement, in part as follows:
“As part of its program of aiding nudist resorts, Milton Luros, publisher of Sun Era, began negotiations for the purchase of the Swallows property and ite immediate lease into the full control of Latimer. The property will be completely and independently operated by Latimer and his wife.
“Our ‘concern for the members of Sun Island during this trying time, ’ stated Luros, ‘was the principal reason we came to the aid of Mr. Latimer. ’ The publisher pointed out ‘we did not intend to originally enter the nudist publishing business. It was thrust upon us by nudists who came to us as independent contractors. Now, we have found a new way of life and a warm, friendly society we did not realize existed before. Our nudist publications today are the leaders in the field. We are grateful for this acceptance and our gratefulness extends to doing our part to see that no nudist group suffers. In this way we can return some of the gratitude we feel towards the nudists who have helped us or work for us in Sun Era Publications. ’
“Luros and his wife, Beatrice, hope to be frequent visitors to the new Sun Island at the Swallows. ‘We’ve asked for membership card number one, ’ Mrs. Luros said, ‘but Mr. Latimer tells us that card is being given to Mr. Zehner as a life member. ’
“Luros stated firmly ‘we do not intend to enter the nudist resort operation business. Our concern is purely and simply an effort to aid nudists and nudist resorts in any way we can help. We wish Mr. Latimer the best of luck and will continue to aid him and other resort operators who need assistance. ’”
Mr. Luros was obviously chocked up during this heartrending, soul-baring declaration; and we got chocked up just reading it. (Our internal constriction, however, was not limited to our larynx.) One comment: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, even if it may be Trojan. After all, look what happened to Laocoon!”
This subject opens up whole new vistas to the imagination –next thing we know, mountains will be coming to Mohammed. For instance: We know of an Eastern nudist park for sale. Maybe Genovese can pick it up for the boys to have their fun and games in. After all, didn’t their cozy little retreat at Apalachin fold up? Maybe nudists have missed their calling, as Treaters-of-the-Afflicted, Caterers-to-the-Socially-Unwanted, etc. We might even sign Khruschev up –if he’foot the bills. He is always looking for fronts (that other people pay for, however); like the UN, CARE, World Court, etc.
The main question is, “What will Uncle do with his new toy?” Well, it should make a dandy shooting-lot to get pictures (nice, wholesome ones) for his various publications: “Snap,” “Body Shop” (no Mother, it’s not a trade school auto mechanic’s manual), “Touch,” “Showcase,” etc.; or even some of the naked screen gems the ASA seems so fond of, maybe in Bazoomscope yet. Actually, this may prove a real boon to organized, social nudism –especially as far as its growth is concerned. After all, with imported models, “artists,” photogs, script-writers, etc., the park’s population could surpass the growth rate of Jakarta. (There could, of course, be a minor undertow of stampeding families departing the grounds, but what the hell, that’s progress.)
One more thing, this could end the battle with the CDL, which has maintained all along that nudist parks don’t exist –they are “only fronts for pornographic literature,” “peopled with professional prostitutes.”
First on the agenda in this new humor magazine (put out by Sun Era), is an article a la “The Perils of Pauline,” Chapter Xnth , which we could subtitle: “Adventures of ‘T’ Latimer.” At latest report, the redoubtable ‘T’, while in the process of pulling up stakes at Sun Island, rooting himself in the soil of The Swallows, and carrying on a running, TV-Western shoot-em-out with LA’s CDL (Citizens For Decent Literature); has still found time to woo and win the hand –or at least the pocketbook –of Mr. Milton Luros, nee Parliament News. (Hereafter known affectionately as “Uncle Milt” –bon vivant, non pareil financier, humanitarian of the Highest Order, nudist philosopher par excellence, all-around Good Guy and Top Hand to Boot.)
The aforementioned “newsletter” quotes Mr. Luros in typical, modest understatement, in part as follows:
“As part of its program of aiding nudist resorts, Milton Luros, publisher of Sun Era, began negotiations for the purchase of the Swallows property and ite immediate lease into the full control of Latimer. The property will be completely and independently operated by Latimer and his wife.
“Our ‘concern for the members of Sun Island during this trying time, ’ stated Luros, ‘was the principal reason we came to the aid of Mr. Latimer. ’ The publisher pointed out ‘we did not intend to originally enter the nudist publishing business. It was thrust upon us by nudists who came to us as independent contractors. Now, we have found a new way of life and a warm, friendly society we did not realize existed before. Our nudist publications today are the leaders in the field. We are grateful for this acceptance and our gratefulness extends to doing our part to see that no nudist group suffers. In this way we can return some of the gratitude we feel towards the nudists who have helped us or work for us in Sun Era Publications. ’
“Luros and his wife, Beatrice, hope to be frequent visitors to the new Sun Island at the Swallows. ‘We’ve asked for membership card number one, ’ Mrs. Luros said, ‘but Mr. Latimer tells us that card is being given to Mr. Zehner as a life member. ’
“Luros stated firmly ‘we do not intend to enter the nudist resort operation business. Our concern is purely and simply an effort to aid nudists and nudist resorts in any way we can help. We wish Mr. Latimer the best of luck and will continue to aid him and other resort operators who need assistance. ’”
Mr. Luros was obviously chocked up during this heartrending, soul-baring declaration; and we got chocked up just reading it. (Our internal constriction, however, was not limited to our larynx.) One comment: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, even if it may be Trojan. After all, look what happened to Laocoon!”
This subject opens up whole new vistas to the imagination –next thing we know, mountains will be coming to Mohammed. For instance: We know of an Eastern nudist park for sale. Maybe Genovese can pick it up for the boys to have their fun and games in. After all, didn’t their cozy little retreat at Apalachin fold up? Maybe nudists have missed their calling, as Treaters-of-the-Afflicted, Caterers-to-the-Socially-Unwanted, etc. We might even sign Khruschev up –if he’foot the bills. He is always looking for fronts (that other people pay for, however); like the UN, CARE, World Court, etc.
The main question is, “What will Uncle do with his new toy?” Well, it should make a dandy shooting-lot to get pictures (nice, wholesome ones) for his various publications: “Snap,” “Body Shop” (no Mother, it’s not a trade school auto mechanic’s manual), “Touch,” “Showcase,” etc.; or even some of the naked screen gems the ASA seems so fond of, maybe in Bazoomscope yet. Actually, this may prove a real boon to organized, social nudism –especially as far as its growth is concerned. After all, with imported models, “artists,” photogs, script-writers, etc., the park’s population could surpass the growth rate of Jakarta. (There could, of course, be a minor undertow of stampeding families departing the grounds, but what the hell, that’s progress.)
One more thing, this could end the battle with the CDL, which has maintained all along that nudist parks don’t exist –they are “only fronts for pornographic literature,” “peopled with professional prostitutes.”
(Source: The Nudist Newsletter #151, August, 1964)
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